Child Custody, Visitation, and Change

Divorce is difficult for everyone and the struggle of figuring out child custody, visitation, and support makes it even more so, particularly for the children. In the event that you and your spouse have to come to an agreement on child visitation and custody, there are some ways to help keep it amicable, and less painful and confusing for everyone.

Divorce is hard and confusing for children. It is important that parents make it as easy as possible on them by working together to create a new life for the children. Sometimes, parents get caught up in their own feelings about the divorce and one another, and inadvertently make things harder for the children. Keeping the peace and finding a way to agree on visitation is the best thing you can do for your children during divorce.

Keeping the Peace

Positivity is important. It may be very difficult to maintain, even part of the time, when you’re under such strain during legal separation. However, you may find that acting upbeat for the sake of the children can improve your own mood. Let them know that you and your spouse love them no matter what happens, that you’ll both be there for them, and show them that you can still be pleasant to one another. Arguing with your spouse will likely upset them and negate any feelings that things might work out just fine. Sharing the children and having visitation should be a time to focus on them and their feelings, rather than yours; you can take time to work through your feelings when you are on your own. Doing so won’t automatically make things easier, but working to keep the peace is a step in the right direction.

Maintain a Schedule

Divorce throws everyone’s life off track. You can, however, try your best to keep your children’s lives as normal as possible. If you can, keep up with any schedule they already have in place; get them to their schools, activities, meal times, etc. If you do have to make changes, do your best to make the transitions easy, and be agreeable with your spouse when doing so in front of the children. If you can work together with your spouse, create a schedule that works best for the children and for you. Add visitations, their appointments, weekends, and anything that may affect their lives. Come to an agreement on sharing the responsibilities. They need to know that their lives will change, but not necessarily for the worst. You may also want to consider spending a little extra time with them, such as adding a family dinner during your time with them.

Place Importance on Comfort

If your children spend time in a new home, make sure it has things that are comforting and recognizable to them. If they miss their things or their other parent, let them bring things over or call your spouse. Try not to be bothered by this; let them know you’re not offended. It’s about their comfort and not yours in those moments. It does not mean they do not love you, or that they will not be able to transition into the new life. They just need time to do so.

As you work on making divorce as easy on your children as possible, we can help with the legal part of child custody. Call us at Miller Law and find out how we can help you and your family.